We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
