my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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