I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
