so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
