he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
