You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
