Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize