Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
