I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
