Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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