She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
