I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
