But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
