Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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