yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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