so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
