I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
