i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
