i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
