he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
