I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
