Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
