doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
