It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
