As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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