theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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