Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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