Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
