I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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