even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
