whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
