Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The struggles of a small town man whore
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
