There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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