Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
