Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize