Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
