Are we in a gay sports bar?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
