good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Actions speak louder than pants.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
