I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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