Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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