Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
