fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
