you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
