i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i think my cat just said my name.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
