would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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