ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
