No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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