thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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