The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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