3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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