She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize