i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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