i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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