Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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