She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
PANTIES FOUND
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