her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
