i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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