Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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