i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
