Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
