Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
