Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize